so today is my birthday

i've been in kind of a crappy mood
i think it's because school just started and i had been at school a lot over the winter break and had really enjoyed having the studio to myself.
now there are all these stupid people here, some of whom are my friends.
and i have to talk to them.

or maybe it's because of my current situation with m.c.
anyway she's taking me out tonight, for my birthday and all.
i think i just want to have a couple of martinis and watch the L word(which we've been watching on dvd and we are both hopelessly addicted to).

i asked her if she remembered the last thing i said to her before i walked out of her front door and didn't talk to her again for about a year. she said she didn't, and added that she had blocked a lot of it out.
some of the last things her recent ex told her were:
i'm never going to speak or write your name again.
all you friends are fake.
your relationships are fake.
i hate you.

she asked if i would tell her what i had said.
i said i'd tell her another time.




14 months ago she left me, with absolutely no warning,
and my last words to her were,

"I consider you my wife
and I'll wait for you."

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