it's really strange how things keep coming back to haunt you in life.
and it really sucks when the person you love most
throws you into this inner turmoil that you can express to no one else
because i don't know anyone who can understand me
i feel like i can only get parts of the information out
about how i feel, cause my friends won't understand
and she won't understand
and i'm not sure i understand.
all i can do is try to seperate myself.

we went to see the Goonies last night
the midnight movie, 20th anniversary
we walked there, and i was really tired
i had just gotten off work, and hadn't slept much the past two nights
things were tense.

it's taking all my energy not to be mean and spiteful.

the whole thing is just fucking weird
and i know i'm being vague
there's so much in my head
and i can't decide if i want it to be on the page.

sometimes there are things in your life which are broken before you get a chance to decide if you want them to be broken or not. it's beyond your control. someone else has flipped the switch for you. but for other people, they can't imagine what that's like. what it's like to have no decision in how you feel about some things. and if you're reading this and have no idea what i'm talking about, be thankful.

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