i just finished my first class
unfortunately i have a paper due tonight for another class
that i haven't started
and will not start
and that's the way it is

i haven't slept
had painting critique this morning
stayed up all night printing and painting
maria and i went to thumbs up for breakfast
tofu and veggies, veggie sausage, biscuit, and oj

things are sinking in slowly

i feel really exposed
vulnerable
scared

it all hit me last night
sitting on the balcony
smoking a cigarette with maria
this fear
like as great as yesterday was
the reality is
that it can swing just as strongly in the other direction
and i haven't let myself feel this much in a long time
and i hope i'm not wrong
i want this to be real

�

�